Jul 22, 2011


I often get asked the question, "so, what do you do?"  Well, that's a tricky question.  Do you mean, what job do I go to and work at 5 days a week?  OR do you mean, what activities to I partake in during my days?  I know it's the former.  It always is.  Why do we define what we "do" in reference to a job/career? Huh.  Another question for another time!  Moving on.... Technically I don't necessarily "do" anything. I'm currently looking for a full-time job, though.  Yes, I do have a job...well, not this summer, but during the school year.  I was substitute teaching during the fall, winter, & spring months.  However, I feel it is time to move on to something different.  Something more substantial...more consistent...more financially viable...more structured...more...me.

Honestly, I haven't been ready.  I wasn't ready to jump into a full-time, hard-hitting, career-type job right away...or after 3 months...or 6...or 9.  It's taken me about 10 months, and tons of baby steps, to get to this point where I'm ready to start something new and permanent--or at least semi-permanent.  I'm ready to step out and do more, be more.  Sure, being rendered homeless after August 6 (when Brooke & Garrett move to Ohio) does help give me the push I need, but I want it noted that I have been ready for a bit before the date came about!  It's been tough, though, as the road to my "putting myself out there" has been paved with rejection after rejection.  Yep, I have been rejected from every job I have applied for thus far.  Good times.  The first three "No"s were quite a hit to my confidence and deterred me a bit.  BUT I have been trying to persevere through them.  I miss those days when I had it all figured out...or at least thought I did.  I knew what I was good at and loved what I did.  I miss the feelings of "this is what I'm supposed to be doing", "this is what I am gifted to do", and "this is what I'm passionate about."  I long for the comfort and security I found in those times.  

I had another job interview today (making it my fourth).   I can honestly say it was the best one I've had so far.  It didn't feel like an interview but rather a get-to-know-each-other session with a group of people whom I happen to be desiring a job.  It was so refreshing!  I never walk away from interviews feeling confident, but this one I actually did.  Now, don't get me wrong, my expectations are still not super high...trying to protect my heart, I guess.  I know God is doing something through this whole process.  We're working through that together.

Honestly, I just want to be in the right place doing what I'm meant to do right now.

Not ten years from now.

Right now.

I can only do what is right in front of me.

Let tomorrow--or ten years from now--worry about itself...so a wise Man once said.

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