Jun 21, 2011


As I've become more and more adjusted on this new path the Lord has put me, I am in the stage of figuring out "what I want to be when I grow up".  This is not an easy task, mind you.  I thought I had found that working overseas with JV.  I thought that would be my last "job" and what I was made to do...now, as I have found myself not in Ukraine, not working overseas with teenagers, not doing what I thought would be my last job, it has been quite a feat trying to figure out what is next....now what?  I have done some substitute teaching, which I thoroughly enjoy--most of the time--but financially I can't afford to just be a substitute for the duration of well, life.  I mean, if I could find a sugar daddy, then I'd be good to go, but since Mr. Right has not presented himself I must fend for myself.

Honestly, I've been in quite a bit of turmoil trying to figure out my next steps, especially when it has come to a career.  For sure, I have been given a chance to start again, start something new and exciting.  However, I've been leaning more towards scared rather than excited.  Do I work in college admissions again; do I work for another ministry; do I try something completely different?!  What will I choose to be my next last job?  What will be the next grand step?  Fear has gripped me, afraid of choosing the wrong path.  Then I realized, after a few "no's" to some job applications, that I don't need to have this all figured out.  I don't need to necessarily be looking for my next career, my next "I was born to do this!" career path.  I just need a job.  I just need something to help me pay bills--so I can be self-sufficient--and, hopefully, enjoy while I am doing it.  This doesn't have to be the big deal I have made it out to be, all or nothing, pick the right one or misery will befall me.  So, I have decided to apply for anything...ok, not really anything, as I don't want to be the next bikini-clad mower of lawns (yes, this job actually exists & is looking for applicants).  I do have an idea of what I do not want to do, but honestly, I don't know what I want to do.  THUS here I go!  Applying away!  Maybe I'll be Starbucks' next barista of the year, a publishers assistant at the local newspaper, the customer service rep at the Marriott, an event planner at a community college, or a cashier at Target.

Whatever I do, I wanna be...happy.

1 comment:

lp said...

hey. i like this. as time continues to tick on by... i realize that this is what i really desire in life. just to enjoy it....no matter what i'm doing. that must feel better to have that pressure off of finding the "perfect" job. my dad has worked at the same job for 25+ years... i think that's quite rare. i don't need that pressure!! i'm on my own path...as are you! love you friend!